Parent
God withheld a child from Hannah until she came to the place of saying: “O Lord of hosts, if thou wilt indeed look on the affliction of thine handmaid. . . . but wilt give unto thine handmaid a man child, then I will give him unto the Lord all the days of his life” (I Samuel 1:11). Sons and daughters who know that they have been dedicated to God for His service have purpose and direction for life. A young man who lacks purpose in life tries to find his own identity and purpose apart from God. This brings frustration, disillusionment, and boredom.
How did Abraham receive salvation? By believing the Gospel. “Even as Abraham believed God, and it was accounted to him for righteousness. . . . And the scripture, foreseeing that God would justify the heathen through faith, preached before the gospel unto Abraham, saying, In thee shall all nations be blessed” (Galatians 3:6–8). By faith in Christ we are “the children of Abraham” and heirs of the promise of blessing to all the nations of the earth. (See Galatians 3:9, 14–16.) God’s purpose for children is to raise up Godly generations who will carry out His promise to Abraham.
It is now a well-established fact that an unborn child can recognize voices outside the womb and discern what is being said. The unborn child’s mind is not yet fully developed, but his spirit is given at conception and is capable of discernment. This was illustrated in the life of John the Baptist. He leaped for joy in his mother’s womb when he heard the voice of the mother of Jesus. (See Luke 1:41.) He could not have recognized this with his mind, but he discerned it with his spirit. Timothy was a Godly young man and Paul observed, “From a child [brephos–“unborn child”] thou hast known the holy scriptures, which are able to make thee wise unto salvation” (II Timothy 3:15).
The discipline of a daily schedule should begin in the womb and continue throughout life. An effective schedule begins in the evening, because that is when God designed the day to start. This allows the family to prepare to fellowship with God as they go to sleep by quoting and meditating on Scripture. The attitude we have going to sleep will determine the quality of our sleep and set our mental attitude for the rest of the day. The evening is also an excellent time to plan out the schedule of responsibilities for the next day; then, through the night, God gives insights and ideas. “I will bless the Lord, who hath given me counsel: my reins also instruct me in the night seasons” (Psalm 16:7).
The diet of the mother has a significant effect on the appetites and health of her children. Mothers who want to raise up Godly sons and daughters must be aware of this. The angel said to the mother of Samson, “She may not eat of any thing that cometh of the vine, neither let her drink wine or strong drink, nor eat any unclean thing” (Judges 13:14). Godliness in children begins with discipline in parents.
There are many unwise and counterproductive procedures that are being done to expectant mothersin hospitals, which account for the present 31.8% -C-section rate across the U.S. In contrast, a hospital in the North Bronx of New York accepted all high-risk patients and had a C-section rate of only 3%. The hospital was staffed only by experienced midwives. This hospital was eventually taken over by the “establishment” and turned into a teaching hospital with a high C-section rate.
The physical bonding between parents and a newborn child is very important. It establishes an ongoing relationship between parents and child and builds basic immunities in the baby. How is bonding done? God gives us a demonstration of bonding after He created Adam. He “breathed into his nostrils” (Genesis 2:7). Jesus followed the same example after His resurrection. He called His disciples together and “he breathed on them, and . . . [said] unto them, Receive ye the Holy Ghost” (John 20:21–22). It is significant that the definition of the Spirit is “air in motion.”
We communicate various attitudes with "Body Language" and we communicate ideas and information with our mind, will and emotions. However our most effective communication is with our spirit to the spirit of another person. This is true because our real person is our spirit. We all are a spirit in a body that also has a soul.
Our spirit is the home of our conscience. It has the capacity for faith, wisdom, discernment and creativity. It is also the source of genuine love, joy, peace, etc. With our spirit we are able to communicate directly with God's spirit (Romans 8:16) We are also able to communicate with the spirit of other people (I Cor 2:11)
Children need to have boundaries in their lives. They will tend to test these boundaries by pushing against them. If they are firm, the child will experience a sense of security. If the boundaries move, the child will become insecure and possibly develop behavioral problems by not recognizing when his boundaries end and and his neighbor’s begin. God has established boundaries for nations, private property, and people.
The debate over feeding by demand or feeding on a schedule is intense. Mothers who train their child to get on a feeding schedule the first or second week after birth enjoy a good night of sleep, which they need for recuperation. Mothers who feed on demand need to consider the axiom: “Feeding on demand is to raise a demanding child.” Mothers also need to know the health benefits of the mother feeding her child rather than feeding by a bottle.
Knowing the birth-order tendencies of your children is very important for sibling harmony. Jacob’s conflict with Esau, Ishmael’s conflict with Isaac, and the prodigal son’s conflict with his older brother can be understood by the different birth-order tendencies.The firstborn is more responsive to authority and tends to react to the secondborn, as Ishmael did to Isaac. The secondborn tends to be more competitive and seeks approval, as illustrated in Jacob’s competition with Esau. The thirdborn tends to be more sociable and persuasive. Each one in the family should know and appreciate the birth-order tendencies the others.
This training is of utmost importance for every child! If a child does not learn to fear the Lord, he will soon not fear his parents either. Neither will the child turn away from doing evil things, for “by the fear ofthe Lord men depart from evil” (Proverbs 16:6). “The fear of the Lord, that is wisdom; and to depart from evil is understanding” (Job 28:28). Many parents today are shocked and grieved when their older teens turnaway from the Lord and follow the ways of the world. The reason is that they learn to fear their parents, butnot the Lord.
Many parents assume that their children are believers because they go to church or raise their hand during a salvation invitation. These responses are not sufficient, because God requires a belief in Christ from the heart and a confession from our mouth that we are repenting of our sin and receiving the Lord Jesus Christ as our personal Savior. (See Romans 10:9–13.) One of the most effective ways of explaining salvation is to point out that we are a spirit in a body with a soul, and because of Adam’s sin, our spirit is born dead. Therefore, we must be born again in our spirit.
The secret power of a verbal blessing is not just saying "God bless my offenders". It is identifying the specific character qualities that the offenders are lacking and asking God to bless them with grace - the desire and power to develop these qualities. We are commanded to bless those who curse us. This is an opposite response to our natural inclinations, but we must obey it because it is so easy for bitterness to spring up and destroy our opportunities, our relationships, and our health.
Thousands of teens have been asked, “Do you think your father loves you?” and 98% said yes. Then they were asked, “Do you think your father understands you?” and 95% said no. When they were asked for a reason, the teens said, “Because he does not listen to me.” This is the purpose of a bonding session.The father meets with each son or daughter personally and asks fifteen questions. Based on their answers, he can design projects with his sons and daughters and write personal letters that will be treasured for life.
The myth of adolescence will damage your teenagers. There is no gap between childhood and adulthood. When a boy completes his twelfth year of childhood, he becomes a young man. This event should be marked by a ceremony and celebration. Teenagers tend to respond to the way that they are treated; if you treat them like children, they will act like children. Treat them like adults and they will act like adults.
The biggest challenge that parents have today is controlling the music that their sons and daughters listen to. Unclean music invites unclean spirits, which bring addictions that control and destroy lives. In a shopping mall, gangs of teenagers loitered around and frightened away customers. Shop owners found a solution: they played melodious music on a loudspeaker and the gangs all disappeared.
As teenagers get older, they will see no purpose for higher standards unless they are leading people to Christ and discipling them with the commands of Christ. Their disciples will hold them to a higher standard. Leading people to Christ should be the primary purpose of our life, and making disciples is obeying the Great Commission that Jesus gave to us.
Can you imagine Satan complaining to God that he cannot do any damage to a person or his family or his finances because God has put a hedge of protection around him? This was precisely the case with Job. Satan said: “Doth Job fear God for nought? Hast not thou made an hedge about him, and about his house, and about all that he hath on every side?” (Job 1:9–10). Every dad needs to learn how to put a daily hedge around his family.